


Goats and Chorts

by Little_Neliel



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Goats, Kaer Morhen's Fanon Hot Springs (The Witcher), M/M, Soft Witchers, brief monster fight, lots of talk about the buttocks, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29355432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Neliel/pseuds/Little_Neliel
Summary: Eskel shows up one winter with a new scar on his behind and Geralt is very curious as to how he managed to get it.
Relationships: Eskel/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	Goats and Chorts

**Author's Note:**

> Sugar and Spice Bingo Prompt : Biting
> 
> I've been staring at this 'Biting' prompt on my Sugar and Spice bingo card wondering how to tackle it and awhile back I did a piece of Eskralt NSFW art and decided that Eskel had a bite mark on his tush.
> 
> So I got bludgeoned over the head with an idea and wrote this in a caffeine induced sprint. I'm pretty sure the biting was supposed to be spicy but uh... _sorry_.

Sitting in the great hall at Kaer Morhen, Geralt at his side, Eskel finally let himself relax.

He’d arrived at the keep earlier that day, just before the first flakes of snow had started to fall. The hall was warm, and food plentiful as the last of the wolves joined the pack in the den for the winter.

“Do you want to head to bed?” Geralt murmured, eyes drooping in exhaustion.

Eskel sniffed, “Not without a soak first, I smell. You can go on ahead, I’ll be up when I’m done.”

Geralt perked up, “And miss a chance to catch up?”

Eskel snorted, “You’re a lecherous old man. Fine, come on.” He heaved himself to his feet and pulled the other witcher up beside him. Arm in arm they headed for the lower level of the keep and the hot springs within them.

Geralt stripped with a few quick motions, already in his simple shirt and pants for the winter months. With a sigh he slipped into the nearest pool, heading to the far side and sliding down until only his head remained above the surface, white hair floating in the water around him. His eyes trained on Eskel as he shucked off his armor and travel clothes.

“Enjoying the show?” he grinned, pulling off his dingy shirt, leaving him with his chest bare and only his leather trousers remaining.

Geralt made a noise of agreement, “Always.”

Chuckling, Eskel bent to strip his pants, leaving himself completely nude. He strolled over to the pool, taking his time and letting Geralt’s eyes sweep over him. He was about to step in when he realized neither one had grabbed any soap. With a sigh he turned to grab some from the nearby stash.

As he reached the bucket and grabbed the soap he heard a gasp behind him.

“Eskel,” a voice barely containing laughter echoed around the chamber.

Eskel felt the blood rush to his face as he spun around and faced the other witcher. The other witcher who was now watching him with wide eyes and a grin on his face.

“Don’t.” He stated, returning to the pool and sliding in.

“But…”

“Don’t,” Eskel repeated, not making eye contact. Instead focusing on scrubbing himself clean.

“No no, I need to know,” Geralt crossed the small pool until he was right beside the bigger witcher, “How did you get...that?” he questioned, hand reaching out to trace over the new scar that was just peeking out over the water line.

Eskel slapped his hand away, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Geralt narrowed his eyes, “Come on, you can tell me,” he glanced at the scar again, assessing the tooth pattern, “Tell me how you let a chort get close enough to take a chunk out of your rear.”

Eskel sighed heavily, “I was riding along. Someone asked for my help. Turns out there was a chort, and it bit me. I killed it.” he focused back on scrubbing the soap down his arms, struggling to not make eye contact with Geralt.

Long, nimble fingers pulled the soap from his hands. The same hands gently pushed him down onto the benches that circled the pool just under the water. He felt his leg being pulled up as Geralt began to wash his lover.

“Come on now,” the white haired witcher encouraged as he set about his task, “That was a pitiful story, tell me the full thing.”

With a huff, Eskel let his head fall back and rest on the lip of the pool, “Fine.”

\---

The summer day was beautiful. Blue skies, a light breeze and the simple sounds of the forest around him. Eskel was a few days from his last contract, enjoying the downtime as he rode between towns. Scorpion walked along, stopping occasionally to nibble at some choice pieces of fern alongside the road.

The sound of bells gradually intruded on Eskel’s senses, followed by a familiar bleating sound. As they rounded a bend in the path, he came upon a small herd of goats. At their back, a small slip of a woman, crook in hand, shooing them along. Eskel pulled Scorpion to the side to let them pass, but as the herder approached him she waved to him.

“Master Witcher!” she whistled to her goats, bringing them to a halt. As much as they would halt, most of them still idling along, chewing on the foliage. “I’m in need of your aid.”

Eskel slid from Scorpion’s saddle, not wanting to make her talk up to him, “A monster?”

She smiled, “Not truly no, not in that sense anyway. One of my goats has gone missing, a rather large, ornery one named Cecil. He wandered off into the woods not long ago and he’s not come back. I’m rather worried about him.”

“Goats wander quite often,” he noted, his thoughts turning to the many places he’d found Lil’ Bleater at the keep, despite their best efforts to keep them in the courtyard, “I’m sure he’ll be back.”

She grimaced, “I’d normally agree with you, but he’s never been gone this long. I don’t want to venture into the deep woods myself. Would you mind?” she smiled at him, seemingly oblivious to the vicious scars on his face, “I can pay.”

Eskel felt himself flush a little, women didn’t normally smile at him like that, regardless if they needed his help or not. He rubbed at his scars while he considered the job. While not technically witcher work, he wouldn’t turn down a potentially easy pay. Or someone that needed help.

“All right, I’ll take a look for him,” he gestured down the road, “How far back did you lose him?”

“It was about an hour ago, he headed into the woods on the north side of the path. If you let me corral the rest of my herd I can show you where,” she reached out and gently took his hand, “Thank you, Master Witcher, I’ll be forever grateful if you can find him.”

“Eskel,” he stammered a little, “My name is Eskel.”

\---

Geralt snorted as he pulled up the other leg, “A pretty girl and some goats, I can see now why you were so distracted.”

Eskel splashed some water at him, “Shut it, wolf.”

\---

“I’m Marta, she motioned up the road, “My place is just there, won’t take me long to get them settled.” She whistled and hustled her herd down the road and off into the trees. 

Eskel had waited while Marta got her goats to a pen tucked away next to a small home back from the path. She rejoined him on the road and they headed back towards where Cecil had disappeared.

“It’ll be a much faster walk without the little menaces,” she noted, easily keeping up with the witcher’s long strides.

“They can be a handful,” he noted, as he kept his senses tuned out to the woods, listening for any sign of the missing goat.

“You’ve dealt with goats before?” she seemed surprised at this bit of information.

“Mmm, I do have a small herd at home,” and they would all be driving Vesemir insane at this point, Eskel thought. The summer months made them more adventurous than normal.

“Oh,” Marta sounded delighted, “I didn’t know Witchers kept animals.”

Eskel smiled a little, and told her a bit about the herd, and some of lil Bleater’s more outrageous escapades. Wrapping up his last tale, Eskel stopped to check some tangled bushes beside the road.

“Here?” he asked, examining the destruction.

Marta nodded.

Tying Scorpion to a nearby branch he motioned for the herder to stay, “I’ll be back shortly, he shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

“Be careful,” she called as he plunged into the dense forest.  
Following the nibbled plants and trampled bushes, Eskel soon found himself in a small clearing. On the far side, chomping away on a particularly tasty bush was the missing goat. 

“There you are,” Eskel muttered, brushing leaves from his hair. As he strode across the clearing towards the missing animal, he failed to notice the furrows and disturbed ground outside the small cave just back from the clearing.

“You mother is worried,” he told the goat as he approached, “Let’s get you back to her.”

The goat merely bleated in response and went back to munching.

With a sigh Eskel reached out to grab the collar around the beast’s neck. Before he could a roar sounded behind him. Before he could react he felt teeth sink into his backside.

\---

“How in the hell did you miss the signs of a chort?” Geralt exclaimed. He slid closer in the pool, softly gripping Eskel’s arm and pulling it out of the warm water to wash it.

“My mind wasn’t really on monsters,” Eskel admitted, relaxing into Geralt’s ministrations, “And I hadn’t seen any signs of it on the way in.”

Geralt grinned, “Distracted by a pretty face, what would Vesemir say?”

Eskel grunted, “Probably what he normally does when I’m distracted by yours.”

Darting in for a quick kiss, Geralt smiled, “Flatterer, now tell me the rest.”

\---

Spinning with a roar, Eskel tore himself from the grip of the monster. Drawing his silver sword he lunged at the beast.

The fight was quick and dirty; the chort was younger and went down with much of a fuss. Wiping his blade clean, he sheathed it and turned back to the goat. Completely nonplussed by the goings on in the clearing, Cecil was still nibbling on plants. 

“Come on, you,” he grumbled as he grabbed the goat by the collar. While they weaved their way back to the road, the adrenaline from the fight began to wear off, and Eskel felt the pain of the bite with every step. Not expecting monsters, he’d left his potions and supplies with Scorpion.

By the time they reached the road, Eskel’s backside was on fire with pain. The bleeding hadn’t slowed as the motion from walking kept it from scabbing over. Emerging from the forest, he released the goat to let it run back to Marta. Straightening up, he pushed the pain aside and walked to where Scorpion was tied.

“Oh thank you, Eskel,” Marta came to his side, a smile lighting up her face, “I hope he wasn’t much trouble to find.”

“He wasn’t the trouble,” Eskel grimaced, rummaging in his bag for a vial of Swallow. 

“Oh?” the herder tilted her head, and then gasped, catching a glance of the blood running down Eskel’s leg, “What happened?” she tried to get a better look but Eskel turned to face her, hiding the wound.

“There was a chort,” he shrugged, “It managed to get a blow in, but I took it down.” He quickly slugged back the Swallow, “It’ll be fine.”

Marta waited until he’d placed the empty vial back in his saddlebags before pressing a small bag of coins into his hands, “This probably isn’t enough if there was a monster involved,” she motioned down the road, “Why don’t you come rest at my place? I’m sure it will be easier than riding with a wound, and I can cook up something for a meal, and offer you a place to rest for the night,” her face was hopeful as she made the offer.

Eskel gently declined, “Thank you, but I must continue on. The potion will help.” He pulled Scorpion’s reins loose, and with effort hauled himself into the saddle, being sure to keep the worst of the wound hidden from the herder’s sight. He settled into the saddle, suppressing a hiss of pain as the bite made contact with the stiff leather.

“If you’re sure,” her face fell a little, “The offer stands if you change your mind.”

Eskel nodded, and then turned Scorpion away from her gaze, heading back in their original direction. Agony shot up from his rear at every step his stallion took, but he kept himself from showing any discomfort as he rode away, back straight and limbs relaxed. 

\---

“Oh, the fair maiden offering to care for our wounded hero, but he bravely declines” Geralt snickered as he moved to finish washing the last of Eskel’s limbs.

“She was sweet, but not really my type,” Eskel murmured, “Besides, it’s hard to be interested in anyone when your ass is on fire.”

“How far did you make it?” 

“Not far,” Eskel shook his head, “As soon as I was out of sight of her I dropped like a stone from that saddle.”

Geralt laughed, “Swallow does take time to work.”

“Mmm, I pulled myself far enough into the trees to not be seen from the road and then spent a few hours just laying there, ass in the air, until it finally healed enough to ride on.”

“I can’t believe you went and got the best part of yourself all scared up,” Geralt wiped tears from his eyes as Eskel finished the tale.

“Yeah well, I guess it just matches the rest of me now,” he turned from the other witcher, instinctively hiding the deep scars on his face.

“Whoa, hold up,” Geralt sobered up and crossed the last little bit of space between them, swinging himself up to straddle Eskel’s ample thighs, “You know me better than that, I was just kidding.” He reached up and gently turned Eskel’s face back to him. Bringing his other hand up he framed the handsome, scarred face of his lover.

“No matter how many scars you get, they don’t matter, I’ll always love you.” he tilted his head forward, resting it on Eskel’s.

The big witcher let out a deep sigh, “I know wolf, I know.”

“Good,” he pulled back with a smaller grin, “but if you think I’m not telling Lambert about this…”

He didn’t finish before Eskel shoved him over and dunked him under the water, grin back on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I once again have to thank Anna Blume for helping flesh out this nonsense 💜
> 
> You can come yell about Eskel with me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/LittleNelielArt) (18+) or [Tumblr](https://justhereforeskel.tumblr.com/) if you're so inclined :)


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